As the Budda quotes, "I am not one's servant. With the knowledge I have gained, I wander about in all the world, being a servant to no one. One could say, like the rain or sky does wander as no ones servant."
Well, I have not figured out how to put text above photos, but those who are familiar with my blog knowledge (cough) know this is not unique.
Why the photos? Not really a brag thing, yet it is. Only because it has been such a LONG struggle to lose weight. Not just a few years of struggle, but say almost 15 years of struggle. Since Sept of this year, I've so far lost 32 lbs. I've about 17 more to lose and my goal is to reach my target weight by my birthday in April. Will you see "before" photos? No way!!! These pictures are a reminder to me to not give up or give in, but to keep going.
Tonight will bring in a new year. 2006! It is hard to believe I'm alive in 2006! I mean, when I was like 15 I thought the year 2000 would be when I was VERY old and probably dead! But that was when I was 15. We know it all at 15. Just lose the knowledge as we age!
I wish everyone a very happy new years and that 2006 will be an awesome year.
It is beginning much better for me, as I have a new job which I'll begin on the 9th January!!! Thank you GOD!
When did I become a scrooge?!! Didn't set OUT to be a scrooge. Some Christmas's I am SO "in the mood". This year is not one of them.
The department I work in is doing a "Secret Santa". I REFUSED to be a part of it. Good grief. I am SOOOO uncreative, that is all I need to add to my already about ready to commit suicide life...to try and think up a gift for a week!
Don't even get me started with the people! YIKES! Shopping, which on the best of days I abhor, is beyond any word I can think of. Want a migraine? Go into a store.
And the presents! Please! When we get together with "friends" on Christmas Eve, why can't we just get together? Why exchange gifts? Especially when those "Friends" are total opposites than you and you have NO idea what to get them, and have NOT had any idea for the past 10 years!! But I try. I give gift certificates (which I personally love getting myself), then walk around trying to find something which they MAY like.
It's pretty bad when you realize you have scoured eBay and cannot find anything!
My boss asked me, when I refused to be in the Secret Santa, why? I wanted to say some smart alack reply. But for once I was totally honest with her. "Why"? I relied, "Because everyone in my family is dead! Some years are better than others, but it comes down to the fact I want December to just be over as all I have now are memories of what once was, and can never be again. I'm an orphan!"
She didn't reply.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. It isn't like I'm unique in my feelings. The suicide rate over the Christmas holidays is higher than at any time. It appears there are many lost souls out there.
Odd thing is, is that I DO believe in what Christmas stands for........I just want it to return to what it is supposed to be!
Well, I have not figured out how to put text above photos, but those who are familiar with my blog knowledge (cough) know this is not unique.
