My Chi is IN alignment! :-D

I'm hopful that I'll be up and running on my blogsite now that the weight of things in my life has been lifted.

While I knew (and thank you to all who have listened...Professor..you are a dear, but then you know that) I was in a relationship with no happy ending nor even happy days in between, I never knew the feeling I would have once I was out.

FREEDOM!!! I've never felt so free in my life. Single again and LOVING it. I'm able to interact with the human species without wondering if someone will see me.

WOOWOO!! Happy days...

My Chi is indeed in alignment.... but I never regret things I've done in life. I hope only to learn from them. If I hadn't gone through what I did, I'd not have felt the happiness I'm now feeling.

Life is good......thus I'm waiting for the shoe to drop! sigh. :)

It's finally over..done.....

Finally!!

The most unhealthy relationship I have ever been in is over. I ended it yesterday. Funny thing is that while I knew I had to end it, I never expected it to be yesterday. Maybe it was the full moon, a blue moon at that.

I had put my "plan" into action beginning last week. I tried not to think of the future as far as how I would proceed to end it. When I called this person yesterday I just wanted to ask if we could talk.

That was all it took for him to go into defense mode and I got an earfull. I spent an hour on the phone with him, at work no less, when I had so much to do. I don't like talking over the phone when there are serious issues to be discussed.

Maybe I've mentioned that I have nothing in common with this person? That he is 21 years younger than myself? That from the beginning I could see that he will not take accountability for anything in his life? That women always "change", according to him, after he has been with them for a time? But it is THEM, not himself, who have the problems.

For weeks I've told my friends how he would respond to any type of "talk" and sure enough, everything I predicted came true.

I am the bad person..... ME BAD... he is the victim. He has had to endure the roller coaster of emotions that I have put him through. At one point I asked if he didn't want to meet to talk...NO! It would do no good because you see, I'm the crazy person and in a couple of weeks after a talk, I'd be acting crazy again.

The only thing I will say in his defense is that I have been more up and down in my emotions when I am with him than at any other time in my life, no matter what the situation has been. As a very knowledgable person told me, since this guy doesn't believe in communication (he has told me this from day one) there was never anything resolved when I would get upset at things and try and explain myself. So in that manner, he did indeed see an up and down woman.

You see, I would get things out and feel better for a few weeks, but since things were never resolved, old issues would bottle up in me, frustrations at him, at myself, at not being able to have a normal, healthy conversation and move on. I would find out things he would try and hide, ask him about it and he would blow up. He would talk about how he is "patient" with women and their "issues"..blah blah.

Now it is over and I feel a huge load has been lifted. Was it stupid to put up with it? Absolutely. But I firmly believe that while I do not yet know the reason for our even being together nor my putting up with things for so many months after I realized what he was like, I know there must be a reason.

I'm FREE and I'm THRILLED!!!