As the Budda quotes, "I am not one's servant. With the knowledge I have gained, I wander about in all the world, being a servant to no one. One could say, like the rain or sky does wander as no ones servant."
Camera's, Camera. A Camera. Something to take pictures with.
I WANT A "CAMERA". But I cannot find one.
I am not seeking a digital (though I broke down and bought one this past summer), nor one with all the bells and whistles on it. Having said that I don't even know what all the "bells and whistles" are on camera's any longer.
My problem, issue, frustration, is that I want a simple camera with a built in flash, zoom lens, and one that uses FILM! Well, it sounds simple, I would think, but it isn't. Target doesn't even sell camera's that use film any longer (at least not the one by my house). Two years ago my old but reliable Pentax, built in flash with a zoom of up to 70 (which is nothing but still, it was a "zoom") from the 1980's, stopped working. I think sand is in it. So I went to the store to purchase a new camera, with a higher power zoom. First brought home a Minolta (which I think are great camera's. I have one from the 1970's, an old 35 mm with all the extra lens, collecting dust somewhere in the house). Anyhow, I bought a new, self contained Minolta, zoom out to 140. This camera came with the auto load and auto advance feature which I'd not had before.
I came home, tried to take photos and found that not only did the flash not "automatically" flash when I pressed the button, but the camera would not "snap" the picture just because I had pushed the button. It "hesitated" about 5 seconds. This was not good. Not for me. So back to the store I went and I picked a Vivitar. Brought that home. Same features and sad to say, same lapse of time between snapping pictures, whether I used a flash or not.
Back to the store I went again. I explained what features I was looking for and was told by the sales clerk (how much do sales clerks in the camera dept at Target stores know I was wondering), that what I was looking for did not exist any longer. Well, he said, they DID to a certain extent. If I bought the professional style camera, with external lens's etc., then I might get what I want. He also explained that with the automatic film advance, that this causes the "delay" between snaps. Well let me say I could manually advance the film in lightening speed on my old camera and get the pictures I wanted.
I went home with my Vivitar (which was subsequently stolen when our house was burglarized in Sept. Odd.."they" did not take the brand new digital but the older "film" camera...hmmm).
Here is what I want in a camera, or rather the type of photos I enjoy taking. I like action photos. I like photographing celebrities. This in addition to nature photos and all pictures in general. Well you see, my dilemma is that if I'm trying to snap a celebrity and the camera hesitates, the person is gone. Trust me on this one. I lost some very valuable pictures because my camera would not go off and the celebrity who had come and put their arm around me for the photo could not wait for my camera to go off.
I like my digital, but only for photos I do not care that much about. I'm sure it is me, but I cannot tell if photos come out blurry or clear on my digital until I have them processed. And for vacations I want a film camera so I don't have to worry as to whether my "stick" will hold all the pictures I take.
Yes, I'm panicking a bit. You see, I'm finally going on vacation. This February. I've no camera (no, I'm not considering the digital). I want to buy a camera. Just a camera, with a zoom and flash. One that will snap a picture when I press the button. No hesitation. I don't need to have an auto advance. Just a camera.
The end of the year is upon us. The time for reflection on not just the past year, but for all the feelings and emotions that every New Years Eve creates, at least for myself. With all that is happening in the world, I personally feel that it is the simple things in life that we overlook, but for which I seem to be thinking about much more than usual. I wish I could remember the simple things in life, and I am getting better. But conflicting within me are the emotions of a soul that is a wonderlust. That is always seeking, searching for nervana. I shall probably come to the end of my life with the realization that nervana was with me most all my life, but I never was able to accept it....so sad. But as 2004 draws to a close, I am so thankful for all those simple things....
Now I know I have a different outlook on life in general from other people, or so it seems from the people I've come into contact with the majority of my life. My latest musings are thus on what I would call "new terminology".
This "new terminology" is not something totally new, as I began hearing this word a few months ago, but just silently shook my head at what I thought was a peculiar new "phrase".
I'm talking death! Death, as in dying, as in a person or animal dying.
Years ago, I was a home hospice nurse. The word "hospice" says what type of work I dealt with. Because I worked in homes, I only went into the office 1-2 times a week for scheduling or "in service". The director decided, I guess, to have a board on the wall and would write down the names of patients who had died that week. But below the names were not "died", but "expired".
Hmmm, I thought. I don't like that word. "Expired" is something that happens to a can of food, or cosmetics. To Contact Len's solution or vitamins etc. The person DIED, he did not "expire". I thought it was an insult to the person who died to use the same terminology as one would a can of vegetables.
I found out today that my boss's father died last night. I feel terrble for her as she was so close to him. He'd had a heart attack (three actually) two weeks ago and never got out of the hospital. Things kept going downhill for my boss's father, yet when she and I went out to lunch yesterday, she was saying things were getting better, and that she wasn't ready to have him "pass". Previously, my boss, in talking about those whom she has lost, has used the term "Passed" or as I said, "Pass". Instantly my mind says, "passed what? A can of beans?" What did he pass? I mean, don't we say "pass the bread? pass the dip"?
So is "Pass" or "Passed" the new terminology to say someone had died?
Why can't people say the word "died"? For that is what happens. My parents are dead, they both died years ago. My friends have died, my pets have died, those whom I don't know personally but know of have died. That is what has happened.
They have not "expired", "passed" or even the old phrase which I can recall my mother saying, which was "passed away". Even as a small child I thought it odd someone would "pass away" when I mentally thought, "no, they have died".
People look at me odd when they find out my parents have "died". I don't avoid the word. This is what happens. They DIE.
I just don't get it...and can only wonder what the next "new" catch phrase will be. I hope it is better than the current ones. I only know that when death is upon me, I want to DIE, I do not want to "expire" nor to "pass".
If I "expired" or "passed", I'd be searching in the other life to see what I "passed" (a gallstone?).
I GOT IT!! I FINALLY bought a new computer!!! Went out on Christmas Eve, to one of those conglomerate stores..the kind that sadly, this country is now mostly made up of, and searched for my NEW, STATE OF THE ART, CDROM, DVDRW, 17" FLAT SCREEN MONITOR, BLAH, BLAH BLAH computer. (Gee, I sound like Ralphy from the "Christmas Story", wanting his "RED RIDER, DOUBLE ACTION AIR RIFLE, WITH THE COMPASS AND A THING THAT TELLS TIME BUILT RIGHT INTO THE STOCK"). Well, lo and behold I found it! Yes! The salesman showed me the perfect computer...a "MUST HAVE" as he said. Of course this "must have" meant HIGH PRICE. But I thought, hell, this is my first computer since the one I bought in 1996, so I want all the bells and whistles, which I was assured it has. Now, for those with no heart or sympathy, begin the laughter here....well heck, if you DO have heart and sympathy, begin the laughter here, heaven knows I've gotten it on the internet boards I belong too while whining away about the new computer. For you see.....Joe (the person I co-habitate with) and I did not open the computer up on Christmas eve! No, we were going out for dinner and a gift exchange with friends. (yes, I do have friends...some..a few...but that is for another blog) :) ANYHOW, I digress. This morning as I was playing with my digital camera, Joe walks out to where I'm at to say, "guess what"? and continues with the fact that our new computer he is trying to hook up, has no apparent diskette drive (or 3x5 floppy drive, whatever they are called). I say, "WHAT????" We go and look and look...nothing, nada, zero. Joe first calls Gateway, and upon getting a person, explains the situation. He learns very quickly that this person apparently didn't know what a "floppy" is (have I given away my, let's just say, "old technology" knowledge?). He then calls the Geek Squad, and is informed that computers no longer have diskette drives in them. So all installation has now, as of this writing, stopped. We are now awaiting the 8 a.m. opening tomorrow of Best Buy, to go in, explain our issue and hope that they sell an external diskette that will work with our new STATE OF THE ART computer. What frustrates this writer (I use the term loosely) is that it is not just that I have so many items on dozens of diskettes (I have the old computer to open them if it comes to that), but having lacked the CDROM RW blah blah blah on my old computer, I thus saved my "favorite places" onto diskette, to load onto my NEW computer, which has NO PLACE TO PUT THE DISKETTE!!! Now if I had a few "favorite places", this would be no big deal. But we are talking about ROWS of "favorite", must have, "places" that have been adding in volumn since 1996. So alas, while I did plug in the new flat screen monitor (it is taking some getting use too I might add), I am back on my old computer....awaiting the fates tomorrow to find out how I can "advance into the 21st century". Wish me luck!
"Friggin Cold". This is another phrase I have learned here in Minnesota. I think it is a cute phrase, especially when we use it in jest. However, sad to say, we have meant it every time we have used it in the past few days. How low below zero have we been? Well, as we here like to say, who cares! Once it is below zero, well, cold is cold. Freezing is freezing.
On the bright side, according to our weatherman (or the one I listen to, on KARE 11), we are to get up into the mid 30's by Sunday. This will seem like heaven......bring out the shorts! JUST KIDDING!
It is Christmas Eve day as I write and I can see the sun beginning to shine this early morning day. The crowds will be in the stores, the cold will rip through our bodies as we are out and about, but that is ok. If the sun shines, all is right with the world.
Thankfully, I've all my shopping complete, but will I be out? I shall. Only for a couple of things, which, with the crowds that shall also be out, will take 10 times as long to get.
Actually it is the evening before Christmas Eve....and I just had to get on my soap box. It is a new topic that has recently begun to REALLY bug me.
To be simplistic, it is about Christmas. I am one who says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" and enjoy the holiday I celebrate.
Over the past years however, there has been a change in things. Things that while I do not understand, I don't, for lack of a better word, ponder very much. I have heard that schools do not have Christmas or Easter break any longer. No, they are now called "winter" and "spring" break.
Then I hear how Christmas carols are not allowed to be sung, or played, in some schools. I hear how the nativity scene is not allowed in some places.
Still....I shake my head in silence.
Until this week......The t.v. is on and I'm seeing (and hearing) all the "HAPPY XXXX". It seems that every holiday BUT Christmas can be talked about....now this is not right. I guess I'm just asking for equality in the holiday's and am not understanding why this is not so.
Yes, my soap box is new...but I'm sick of every holiday being celebrated except Christmas. Guess I don't understand why Christmas cannot be celebrated if every other holiday is? Wish someone could explain this to me, not that I'd undertand or buy into the theory, still, I'd be interested in hearing.
Not dishes as in "what we eat off of", but rather the strange, odd, references regarding a certain type o fmeal we eat.
When I moved to Minnesota from California, I learned many "Minnesota" terms. But the one that most puzzled me was what Minnesotan's refer to as a "Hot Dish".
People will say they are having a "Hot Dish" for dinner. I have asked aloud and more consistently in my head, "what the hell is a "Hot Dish"? Do you eat a dish that is hot? Does this mean I am having a "paper plate" dinner?
Then I learned from an internet friend in West Virginia that she makes "Covered Dishes". I asked what THOSE were, and was told food in a covered dish. I replied, "so I could open a bag of potato chips and put them in a bowl, cover them, and they would be a "covered dish"? She replied, "that's about right".
Hmmm...........Now being a native Californian, I gave thought to what I grew up hearing. I know that there were two versions. "One Dish Meal" or "Casserole" were the two terms I heard. But for Casserole, which was most frequently heard word, it was prefaced with the food item IN the casserole. For instance, my mother would say we were having a "Tuna Noodle Casserole", or "Tamale Casserole" etc. So we at least KNEW the identity of the food we were eating.
"One Dish Meal" is a puzzlement when I think back on it....and understand where "casserole" made more sense.
I still shake my head whenever I hear, in reply to "what are you having for dinner". "a hot dish".
Hmmmm.........Heaven only knows what other States call these type of dinners......
He got JUSTICE, 10 pounds in ONE WEEK? What the hell do they mean with "no snow? It CAN'T be Christmas", SLEEP. "HE GOT JUSTICE"....Scott Peterson's verdict was returned...death....unless, as of this writing, the judge overturns this....normally judges don't..but we are talking California....strange things happen with the judicial system there...(er, well, yes, strange things happen with the judicial system everywhere, but let's not go there...now at least).
"10 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK???" GASP!! I won't even ATTEMPT to get on the scale. How DARE the vendor's at my work send "goodies" for the holiday's. Cheese and crackers, vodka chocolate cakes (oh yea, REALLY needed THAT)!, Five pounds of Chocolates. Cookies...and that was only ONE day...and of course you know what happens....all this food is put RIGHT OUTSIDE MY CUBICLE!! I won't even talk about what my department got the other days. Then let's not forget the luncheon at the Sunshine Factory, where I ate even though I could hardly move.
Let's just say, I'm sick of the food..guess I had to hit bottom to get back to low carbing..and I'm joining the gym come January!
"CHRISTMAS WITHOUT SNOW?" Ok...if I hear ONE MORE PERSON say "I just don't feel in the holiday spirit without snow", I am going to slam their heads in the freezer...just kidding. But what IS it with Minnesotan's and this snow crap??? Huh? Double Huh? Ok, I'm being hard on them when I am sure it is cultural thing. You see, I'm a native Californian. I grew up around the Hollywood area (and no Prof. Batty, Hollywood didn't call me, though I was on the page A-1 page of the Orange County Register). I grew up with Christmas, and the holiday season, the lights, the trees...and playing in the Ocean on Christmas eve or day, if I chose. My last Christmas back in CA, several years ago now, I felt the same wonder. Walking along the ocean, the houses all beautifully lit..ah, Christmas was THERE and look! No jacket, snowshoes, hats, gloves, scarves, wind chill, snow drift...instead there was mild, beautiful weather...I need to return for a visit.
"SLEEP"! I love to sleep. I live for my weekends when I can take my naps...this month has been terrible at depriving me of my naps. Things to do, places to go. And the shopping. PLEASE!! I HATE SHOPPING! I finally got out yesterday for the first time, EARLY, to miss crowds, and got everything done in two hours. Oh yea, I have to go back out today, but only to pick up three items.
Dear Santa:
PLEASE send me a new computer so I can blog without this clunker freezing up and I losing everything.
Oh, and lest I forget.......MERRY CHRISTMAS....HAPPY HOLIDAY'S....HAPPY 2005!
