Brain implosion, er, mental implosion?

Ok! I'm perplexed! Is it just me or do others feel this too??! (oh dear God...it's probably just me and I'm putting the word out to the world...NUT CASE HERE)! LOL.

What I'm trying (in vain it appears) to say is this! In my journey in this current life. I have noticed a reoccuring issue with my emotional state. It appears, and I've just come out of one of these "states" so all is very fresh in my mind, that when I'm in a certain situation in life, hating my job, looking for a job, dealing with stressful issues, and I have a tendency to "implode".

Brain imposion....or is it "mental" implosion? It is what happens when you think you are getting through the "bad" so well. You call people, begin to cry, but state things such as "but I am doing fine", etc., etc., The crying continues and you really never know when the tears will flow.

It could be a Hallmark ad on tv, or a news item, or you find a picture you had forgotten about.
Also to be added to these lists are things such as driving home from the above lousy job on a particularly lovely day, smelling the smells of summer (the nice smells, not the sweat from people), and then you are crying. Or the song that plays on the radio or CD. Always songs. They bring up so many memories. The tears come...but HEY! I'm doing just GREAT!!!

THEN!! The embarrassment!! You get out of a bad situation, life seems to be looking good (so far you have not been slammed by the next crappy thing in life..that yin/yang thing you know) and anyhow, to your dismay you realize that, gasp! Once again you now realize you WERE a basket case! You, who thought, "hey, I'm the coolist chick, I can handle anything", is now the "oh my GOD! I really HAD lost it"!

Then begins the self examination.....how many people did I bring into my stupid whining state? How many do I owe lunch too? I KNOW I owe lunch to a great group of people at the photo lab. Lord, they should charge me for counceling!! LOL

Also in this self awareness, once again I say to myself, "Ok, now let's remember not only how you were emotionally but what caused it and make sure you don't let things get to this point again". And I say to myself, "I now know what to expect and in the future will deal with things differently".

UNTIL THE NEXT CRISES POPS UP..............and I react the same way...AGAIN! AUGH!!!