And we are creatures of....?????

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both....I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference......Robert Frost

I spend more time than I should I'm sure, trying (in vain) to understand the human mind and why we do, say and think the things we do.

I watch my fellow human beings, seeing how they act, react, deal with life.

And I wonder....Why is it I feel so different? Why is it I feel, oh, odd, out of place, not belonging? You know, "different" from my fellow human beings?! I often wonder if others feel as I do but they may not feel as free to discuss their feelings? I know I am an open and honest person. I tend to put people off by asking or answering questions others would find "personal" or just not THE thing to ask or answer. For many years when asked what may be construed to be a personal or a somewhat out of the "norm" question, I first reply..."Let me say that I will give you an honest answer, no matter what you ask, and also that you may ask me anything". This seems to frighten people.

But I am getting off topic, if there is one. ..Ah, my musings...trying to sort things out.

Why is it some people can go through life so content? Why do some people require so little? I've met people who have grown up, married, never left the town they are in and they are totally happy? Why are there others, like myself, who feel they are in a perpetual state of flux? Why do I always feel there is something "else" out there? A different city to see. Another Country to live in. On and on I could go.

Why do I not understand the "normal" and comfortable state of what American's (and I suppose other Countries) find in a marriage or a togetherness. Is there some strange cosmic thing that happened with my birth? Did some comets collide to cause the way I "work"? I watch...I observe,...but what I see in others is not me. To be with one person, whether in a marriage or whatever, for an entire lifetime, is a puzzlement to me. There are so many people in the world, how does one find contentment with one and one alone?

So I wonder...why is my "being" always longing to be where it is not, to see what it cannot see? To understand what I cannot understand in viewing others and how they live? (and in their relationships)? What caused me to be this way? Funny really....for while I am perplexed about this, I'm also happy with this...well, as happy as one can be within a "flux".

I also wonder what I did in my previous lives to cause me to be as I am in this life? A fear of heights, of anything around my neck? Ah, it is my past life that is surely the reason for these reactions in this life. Hmmmmm....could my past life be the reason for my character in this life? Am I living in a parallel universe?

Ramblings...I go on and on...and in my ramblings I see that my mind will not rest from all the perplexities, the quagmire which is me...why do I, think, say, feel, as I do? Ah, to have peace.....

"You are a child of the universe (I am?) no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here" (desiderata)....THANK YOU!